“When I was a little girl, I thought I was a princess.” I recently made that statement in a Toastmasters meeting and to my astonishment, the audience took the statement three different ways.
- That I lived in a fantasy world.
- That I lived a privilege life.
- That I was a proud little girl.
Strangely, the first was pretty accurate but the latter was far from the truth. After the speech, I realized that in today’s world written word is more prevalent than spoken words due to communication avenues such as Facebook, Twitter, texting, blogging and emails. A greater example provided by a friend. He had made a mistake on his electronic timesheet and had been asked to correct it, resubmit and email his supervisor was he had finished. Well… he did except the email he sent said… “I have resigned.” This statement simply read said “I quit.” Luckily he caught his mistake and recalled the message and resent and this time typed “I have re-signed.”
Written words like this that has caused great confusion. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone took the time to call a friend and ask verbally, “Hey, I missed you yesterday; are you okay?” instead of a typing the very same impersonal statement. Really, nearly everyone has a cell phone (that’s an entirely different communication and respect issue) or a home phone (yep, they still exist, regardless of how primitive).
Personally,I hate texting, I don’t really like having conversation through Facebook and Twitter (which I haven’t figured out how to use other than posting statements) or when someone texts you a very personal statement such as “Bob is in the hospital!” or “Bob is dead!”. I don’t think I want to read either statement especially if Bob is my brother, cousin or very good friend. Pick up the phone and call me better yet come visit me or let’s have a video conference.
It is these impersonal means and statements that restrict people of all races, creeds, colors, religious affiliations, political backgrounds, educational and career levels. It is these impersonal means that has led to a society who can’t speak effectively in school, meetings, with friends, family and/or strangers, and especially in public speaking.
Have you listened to the politicians lately? They are in the same class. “Ah, the economy…” or “The umm children need umm”. But these very same men and women can write such eloquent letters, memos and thesis. I normally become irritated to the point of changing the channel and well not voting for the candidate who can’t speak to us with proper verbal communication showing us that they are confident in what they are trying to convey.
For instance, did you know a jury would most likely convict or not convict based on a lawyers ability to speak to them without using the ahs and umms. Wow!! Right!! I listened to two lawyers; one prosecutor and one defense argue for this young man’s life and his lawyer said so many ahs and umms and the missing of the simple non-verbal cues of the jury, that the jury convicted the young man even with his lawyer having a great defense using recently discovered evidence proving his innocence. But it was all lost in translation and result in a lost of freedom. Remarkably, the prosecuting lawyer stated that his case had basically fallen apart with the new evidence and he was sure the jury was going to rule “Innocent of all charges.”
Even more remarkable, a fellow Toastmaster who was practicing her grammarian skills counted the ahs and umms of the closing arguments and the results were disheartening… 4 for the prosecutor and 105 for the defense lawyer. But even more obnoxious was the defense lawyer’s eloquently written remarks after the case that made every juror second guess their decision. It is this lack of basic communication skills that has me as a Toastmaster and Motivational Speaker cringe with disappointment and yes, disgust.
What if your doctor spoke with ahs and umms as he described a complicated procedure or surgery that needed confidence in his or her skills? I would personally think that he or she was second guessing his abilities and his knowledge to prevent me pain or worst death.
So, where does that leave us as a society? A society lost.
I highly recommend that every public speaker and even non-public speakers join a local Toastmasters International club and practice speaking verbally and more importantly confidently. Save Facebook, Twitter, texting and emails for the unimportant, non-personal and unemotional conversations.
For more information on Toastmasters International, Inc., to find a local club or to receive by mail free information on Toastmasters International, Inc., please email me for privacy purposes at vangiewilliams@vangiewilliams.com or http://www.toastermasters.org
- Where Leaders are Made!!!
